9 Songs to Get Through the Post-Grad Blues

Fall is a time of change—the leaves are changing color, the Starbucks menu is changing flavors, and Pete Davidson is changing lovers. For those of us who graduated in the spring of 2023, this fall marks a bigger change than ever before. The “Back to School” season, simply a fact of life for 16 years straight, is back once again, but this time without us. We have been shoved into the real world, never again getting to experience the high that comes with the infinite possibilities of fall semester (except, of course, for those of us choosing to escape the big bad Real World for a few years more by attending grad school…but I digress). Don’t get me wrong–this is an exciting time filled with a vast freedom…but that freedom can be overwhelming. Change is pretty scary and confusing and emotional and it’s easy to feel lost and confused. If this sounds like you, then I have a perfect solution: hole yourself up in your childhood bedroom (I know you’re still living with your parents and there’s no shame in that) and listen to some edgy sad girl music.

I - SONGS FOR REGRESSING

Ok, so you’ve packed up and given away and thrown out everything in your beloved, cramped, stinky, and possibly mold-infested college house. You’ve moved back in with your parents because what are you? Made of money? Or, maybe you’ve moved to a completely new city and you know absolutely no one. Either way, you feel isolated. You look through your camera roll at pictures of you and your friends having (probably illegal) fun. You yearn for a simpler time, because the past is always simpler in our memories, isn’t it? I’m pretty sure holding onto nostalgia is mentally damaging in the long run, but what am I, your therapist?

“Little Again” - The Secret Sisters: if you’re longing for a time when all the big decisions about your life were made for you by adults and you were free to look at bugs or whatever weird freakish thing you did as a child, this is the song for you. The Sisters’ soft voices sing a lilting melody about the little joys of youth, like little red wagons and playing in the dirt, over strumming chords. If there’s one word to describe this song, it’s “simple.” Simple melody, simple vocal harmonies, simple lyrics. Simple, just like how you wish life could be again.

“Everything Stays” - Rebecca Sugar: Did you decide to stay in your college town after graduating and watched as campus culture moved on without you? Did you go back to visit and realize that even though it all looks the same as it did four months ago, it will never be the same, ever again? Or, did you move back to your hometown and quickly realize everything has changed in the four years you’ve been away, and now you feel like less of a local and more of a stranger? Marceline the vampire queen said it best: “Everything stays, right where you left it / Everything stays, but it still changes.” The unrelenting tides of time move along whether we want them to or not. Perhaps the themes of Adventure Time were wasted on kids too young to truly understand the gravity of it all. Or perhaps I am simply regressing into a childlike state and watching cartoons too much. Who’s to say. 

“Class of 2013” - Mitski: Maybe you’ve been struggling to cope with the sudden loss of a social safety net. Maybe you’re frantically trying to figure out how to support yourself financially as an adult. Maybe living under late-stage capitalism is taking its toll on your mental health. Maybe you’re scream-crying in your car because, I don’t know—life is hard, ok? This is the perfect song for you. This song starts off gently and cautiously, but much like a sudden mood swing, it quickly turns into a primal belting cry for Mom. Quickly, as if it never even happened, Mitski returns to a soft and breathy voice, asking the question we are all hesitant to utter out loud, for fear of the answer: “Mom, am I still young? / Can I dream for a few months more?”

II - SONGS FOR CHANGING

“It’s so easy in this big wide life with no semesters or academic advisors or graduation requirements to feel like you’re not finding success fast enough.”

Ok, you’re scared of change—so is everyone. But at some point you have to just accept that change is inevitable. It’s going to happen whether you like it or not and frankly, it wasn’t gonna ask for your opinion anyways. Graduating is just as much a grieving process of what you’re moving on from as it is a celebration of what’s to come. As I said before, I’m no therapist, but I’ve done enough grieving in my life to know that the five stages of grief are very real, and you do eventually move on from depression and onto a roller coaster of other emotions. I’ve always been an advocate for expressing your emotions loudly, but safely. Scream-singing in the car or the shower is my preferred method for getting out those big feelings about change, but maybe you’re not a theatre kid like me and that doesn’t resonate with you. Either way, I think these songs might hit where it hurts.

“Francis Forever” - Mitski: Fun fact, I actually quoted this in my thesis. I thought the line “I’m writing this at 3 am” would be funny to include, as I was in fact, writing it at 3 am. This creative decision may have been a mistake, however, because now every time I listen to this song I just think about the absolute delirium state I was living in for weeks. Whatever. This song is PERFECT for scream-singing, because it is very belty, but in a lower middle register. If vocal health is important to you, or you just don’t have a massive range, then this is the song for you. There is NOTHING more satisfying that yelling out “Autumn comes when you’re not yet done / With the summer passing by” accompanied by an aggressive rock beat and shredding guitar.

“What Was I Made for?” - Billie Eilish: Ok, I know the Barbie movie is getting a little old now, and we all have our different opinions about it, and I don’t care about any of that, because this song is amazing. I would say it’s the best song on the soundtrack, but obviously that number one spot has to be reserved for Ken’s power ballad. I digress. Billie’s soft head voice is incredible, her delicate riffs are incredible, her (per-usual) heartbreaking lyrics are incredible. I’m not saying this because I’m a Billie fan (I can name maybe two other songs), I’m just saying this because I have ears. This recurring question, “what was I made for?” speaks true to the young recent grad. You have your whole life ahead of you, and oh god, now you have to figure out what to do with it. It would be so easy to just pick the heel like Barbie, but you know deep down you’re going to have to pick the Birkenstock (which is definitely NOT product placement, by the way).

“Crop Circles” - Odie Leigh: Admittedly, a lot of these songs would also work really well on a breakup playlist—”Crop Circles” being no exception—but is graduating not a breakup of sorts? Don’t get fooled by this song—Odie’s voice over acoustic guitar picking is soothing, but her lyrics are not comforting. “Here I am, I'm crying out for change/And I, I don’t think I’ve changed.” It’s so easy in this big wide life with no semesters or academic advisors or graduation requirements to feel like you’re not finding success fast enough. You might feel like you’re not a “real adult,” even though everyone else around you seems to have figured it out. Maybe you, too, feel like you’re stuck walking crop circles around your room: scared, and yet so desperate for change.

III - SONGS FOR GROWING

“it might be scary to leave behind the comfort of the known, but you’re on the brink of something even better.”

Ok class, can anyone tell me the final stage of grief? What’s that? That’s right—acceptance! Whether you like it or not, you’re changing and GROWING as a person. This period of uncertainty is going to help shape you into a new, stronger, wiser, and more mature version of yourself. Tacky, I know. So if you’re ready to accept this new stage of life with open arms, or even if you just need a little push to get there, you might be ready for these last three songs.

“Landslide” - Fleetwood Mac: Not to brag, but the first time I heard this song was live at a Stevie Nicks concert in the Gorge Amphitheatre. At the time, I really, really needed to hear those lyrics, and it ended up being in my top five songs on Spotify Wrapped that year. Now, I need to hear those lyrics again for completely different, and yet, all-too-similar reasons. “Can I handle the seasons of my life?” I asked myself as I unzipped my graduation robe and tossed it in the donation pile. Stevie, of course, has the answer: “Time makes you bolder.” 

“My Love Mine All Mine” - Mitski: I know, I know—ANOTHER Mitski song. I can’t help it if she has perfectly captured in lyrical form the depth of the human experience, ok? All you ski-heads (my new nickname for Mitski fans that I just made up on the spot) know that much of Mitski’s older work revolves around deeply, deeply painful moments, despair, and depression. Her brand new album, The Land is Inhospitable and So are We, departs from this. In it you can see healing and growth. On Mitski’s TikTok, she goes into depth about the meaning of this song, saying it’s about being thankful for all the love she has gotten to give out to people, and a prayer that that love will linger long after she is gone. The song is an unusual range—Mitski’s signature smoky voice dips low on the staff. Although the song is in 4/4, the chorus has a lilting, waltz-like feel to it, almost as if you are tenderly and lovingly slow-dancing with yourself. Dance is healing. I dare you to improvise a contemporary routine to this song.

“Astonishing” - Jason Howland and Mindi Dickstein: Firstly, I would just like to say that I do NOT apologize for including musical theatre on this list. You knew what you were getting into when you decided to click on my article (unless you don’t know me, in which case…my bad). I have a lot of mixed feelings about this musical adaptation of Little Women, but this song is an absolute stand-alone banger. If you’re feeling brave enough to attempt a high Broadway belt like Sutton Foster, I can confirm that there is NOTHING more satisfying than singing “I’ll shout and start a riot / Be anything but quiet” under a really hot shower head. Even as Jo March knows she is about to enter a period of great uncertainty and change in her life, she is ready, assuring the audience with her whole chest: “I’ll find my way!” And you will too. Don’t forget that all of those years of studying were because you had a dream for your life. Now it’s time to go out and live it. It might be scary to leave behind the comfort of the known, but you’re on the brink of something even better. One might even say…something astonishing.